How can you keep a positive vibration while dealing with negative people or situations? 

Going through life with a positive mindset sometimes comes with quite a few challenges in certain situations. I noticed that maintaining your own boundaries can be very difficult when you’re trying to keep a positive mindset. And I’m not the only one struggling with this. Whenever I’m talking to someone who lives a Positive Thinking lifestyle as well, keeping boundaries without ending up with a negative vibration afterward, is something we all struggle with.

Not sticking up for yourself is equal to attracting more of the same

Because, when you’ve decided you’re going to think positive, always, from now on, it also feels like you’re can’t be unfriendly or self-centered ever again. You know that you create what you think and you don’t want to create more negative feelings or situations.

But sometimes we need to be tough on others to make sure they’re not overstepping the mark. Sometimes you need to draw the line to make sure their bad energy will not be passed on to you. Not sticking up for yourself will cause you to feel more agitated over time, which then becomes the vibration you’re sending out. This results in more similar situations entering your life that match this negative vibration. Which you don’t want, of course.  

When you catch yourself complaining about someone, because this person is treating you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, you’re actually already allowing this person to take over your positive vibes. This person triggers negative feelings to take over the positive mindset you work so hard for.

Why the real message comes from your vibration and not so much from the words of the message itself

If you already talked to this person before, but nothing changed, this means that for some reason your message wasn’t clear enough for this person to really understand how much his behavior is bothering you. This happens when the vibration you sent out while delivering your message, didn’t match with what you were saying. In fact, you didn’t ask this person to treat you differently, but you sent out to the Universe with your negative vibration, you would be delighted to receive a little more of it. 

You probably learned in life that when someone is crossing your boundaries, you should tell them their behavior is bothering you. And from now on, this person should change his behavior towards you. The thing is, he didn’t change. This person is still acting the same. You probably think, hey, this person just doesn’t want to listen to me. It’s his fault, he doesn’t want to change. This is out of my control.  

But as I said before, what if your message wasn’t receive well, because the vibrations you were sending out while sending the message are the real message here instead of the message itself? The problem lies never with the other person, it’s a bug in the programming of our inner self. And the world around you picks up on that.  

You can influence the situation by applying the Law of Attraction. You have way more influence on the situation than you think, believe me! Now, you can either choose to accept the situation and the negative energy that comes with it (which will put a block on your own manifesting process), or you can choose to take back control over your feelings and energy.  

The Universe is sending you a gift in the form of a situation you can grow from

We are here to learn. And as I see it, there is always a lesson we’re working on and every lesson appears in your life as a challenging situation you need to learn from. Each lesson is a big opportunity to grow, but when you don’t take the opportunity to learn the lesson that the Universe is trying to teach you in the first place, this situation will appear again in your life, until you decide to change and solve the situation for good. Most people, including me, need to experience each lesson at least a few times, because we tend to look for the solution outside ourselves (our ego) instead of looking inwards, which is where the solution can be found, always.  

If you’re reading this blog, maybe ‘setting boundaries and learning to take back control over your energy’ is what the Universe is trying to teach you right now. And with this blog, I hope to bring some new perspective on this challenging situation you’re experiencing in your life. Hopefully, this blog will help you to move forward in your learning process, so you’ll be able to grow and remove this energy blockage as soon as possible! Beause you need your vibrations to be positive. Otherwise, you won’t be able to manifest the life you do want.

We accept unacceptable behavior of others because ‘they don’t really mean it like that’, or because you’re afraid it will disturb the relationship, because it’s a family-thing or work-related and you see this person on a daily basis. But when this means that the other person can do whatever he wants, while the positive energy you’re meditating so hard for directly vanishes into thin air, you’re not heading in the right direction and you won’t be able to move forward.

The solution is hidden in your inner self and not in the other person

So, instead of putting the blame on the other, first you need to realize that something in your vibration is sending out the message that people are welcome to treat you like this. You allow it. That’s why it’s time to look inwards. Find out why you are sending out these vibrations. We really teach others how to treat us with our vibration and by the thoughts we have about ourselves. Ask yourself the question: is it possible this has something to do with my own insecurities and my feelings of self-worth? Somehow you feel it is your job to please others, even if you need to pay the price by feeling unhappy in exchange. Why?  Why does pleasing the other have a priority on feeling good yourself? Take a good look inside and try to find out what’s causing this and work on this issue.

Of course you can address your ‘boundary crosser’, but if you don’t work on the reason why you attract this type of  behavior towards you in the first place, you will come across similar situations again and again in the future.

There are other ways you can make sure others won’t cross your boundaries, without giving up on your positive energy. 

Ways to maintain your boundaries and positive energy 

• Write down a list of affirmations that give you strength in this situation and that will shift your focus to what you do want to attract from this person. What should this relationship look like? How will this person treat you then? What does the world look like when your boundaries are respected.
• A few suitable affirmations:
  • It’s okay to say no
  • I have the right to feel safe en respected
  • I’m responsible for my own happiness
  • The happiness of others is not my responsibility
  • I have the right to choose my own lifestyle
  • I have the right to express my opinions, needs and feelings
  • I give myself permission to be who I am
  • I am enough
  • I only attract people who respect me
  • I only attract loving relationships
  • I am a human being and my feelings are okay
• Sometimes it can be necessary to talk to this person to make clear (once again) that his behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. Then, explain how you do want to be treated and put your focus during the conversation on the positive outcome. According to the Law of Attraction you have to express what you do want to receive instead of putting your focus on what you don’t want to attract. Then the good will follow.  
• Sometimes we are stuck in a web of loyalty, which makes us feel like we don’t have the right to set our own boundaries. But please bare in mind – especially when you’ve already expressed it several times and nothing changed – just as this person thinks he or she has the right to treat you like this, you also have the right to choose to not tolerate this any longer. Give yourself enough importance and don’t make yourself inferior to someone else.
• I took my distance from people many times when I felt it was necessary. And in some cases this is what you need to do for yourself to be able to keep your positive energy. When someone causes you to feel unhappy on a regular basis and you never leave this person with a smile on your face, it’s a clear signal from your inner self. Taking distance is not selfish when the relationship only lowers your energy and takes you out of balance. I don’t mean you should distance yourself immediately when someone complained to you once, but when you notice this you leave this person more often with a lower vibration than the vibration you had before meeting this person, distance might be a healthy option to consider. 
• Negative emotions are signals that are trying to tell you that you need to change the situation. Take control of your own life and future experiences.  Eventually, everything is a choice, even accepting unacceptable behavior of others. We tend to fall into victim-mode and in believing we don’t have a choice in situations like this, but you do have a choice. Search for the solution and you will find it!
• According to the Law of Attraction we attract what we send out. That’s why it’s important to stop dwelling on negative thoughts and to go back to a higher vibration as soon as possible. Don’t dwell on anger and sadness because of what “the other person is doing to you”. It will only lead you to more similar situations. The Law of Attraction assumes that you desire more of the emotion you are experiencing. So, take the action steps that are needed and let go of the situation as soon as possible. Start doing the things that make you feel good.
• You’re experience with the outer world, is a reflection of your inner world. The moment you stop believing it’s necessary to make compromises and to sacrifice yourself, it will immediately reflect in your physical experience in the outer world. 

When you learn to set boundaries, manifesting becomes a lot easier as well. You’ll notice that similar situations don’t cross your path as often as before when sticking up for yourself is not an obstacle for you anymore. If you feel guilty for setting and maintaing your boundaries, this is connected to your inner belief that you’re only worthy as a person if you please other people in life. But you’re not responsible for the happiness of others. The moment you are able to let this limiting belief go, you’ll notice that this feelings of guilt slowly disappears. Without feelings of guilt, it’s a lot easier to stay in alignment with source. And when you’re in alignment, you won’t attract similar situations in the first place. You’ll automatically attract more loving relationships with people that treat you with love and respect. 

Good luck!

Lots of love!

Angie